Monday, March 30, 2009

It's Just A Game


There was a married couple. The husband played golf. When he came home from a golf game the wife knew not to ask how the game went. It went one of two ways. He would talk for hours about each great shot he took which bored the hell out of her, or he's be upset for days ranting over how this or that is unfair or wrong. One day day the husband comes home clearly upset about the game. He's not talking to her, though he's not being rude either. He's being passive aggressive. Normally the wife she would have put up with this but for some reason not today she said "honey it's just a game." And he said "it's more than a game, it's a way of life, golf is life" and she said "well then that means life is just a game" Sometimes we take things too seriously. Sometimes we need a little perspective to realize that we don't have to react to things so seriously all the time. That life has it's ups and down and that in the long run this thing that seems so important now is so insignificant.



Things aren't as important as they may seem. As I've grown older this is the one thing I've learned over and over again. The more events in your life you have to look at the more and more you realize that things you thought were life-altering were momentary disturbances. I found myself laughing and I couldn't begin to explain why, but I was reflecting on my life and I bust out laughing at how ridiculous it is. I used to fret over how hard it is to find a good person to date or even be in a relationship, and I think about how everyone wants this same thing so you would think it would be easy, but it's not. Now while this could be a source of anger, resentment, or sadness, and for many it is, the absurdity of it and how trivial it is made me laugh out loud. Age is a lot more than a number it represent the possible number of significant experiences you may have had in your life. And while a 40 may have the same number or significant experiences as a 20 year old it isn't representative of most 20 or 40-year-olds.



I'm going to be 30 in about 18 months and I think how different I will be when I'm 30 versus when I was 20. It's like I'm the same person, but at the same time I'm not. I've grown so much in that time that from the standpoint of my personality I'm unrecognizable. And when I'm 40 I hope I've lived enough to be even more myself than I am now. The game of life doesn't really have a universal scoreboard. There is to billboard in the sky there is no winners or losers but it is still a game. Some games aren't about winning. Some games are just about getting further along on the the board. Some games you focus on leveling up you character, making alliances, and exploring the world. The point of the game is to have fun and to feel a sense of accomplishment. SOme people aren't really good at those games. They get bored and give up. I hope I will never be that person. I like this game I'm having to much fun to quit now. I'm addicted to this game called life.

1 comment:

About Tim'm said...

interesting post. Not sure I've given up on the games, but I do think someone will have to bring me a game that, unlike the chess, checkers, monopoly, sorry, uno, or spades I've been playing, actually intrigues me enough to even sit down at the table. I'll be 40 in just a few years. My happiest years have been the single years. I have been a serial monogamist. I have taken strategic and multiple-year breaks between relationships, believing the clarity and "healing" would prepare me better for the games. At the end of the day, people don't always remain the ways the present themselves. I only have control over my own integrity, not others. That being said, i suppose a leap in faith...or some determination, focus, and dexterity by someone who is up to the challenge to 1. understand some of what I've dealt with (not the dismissive...the past is the past...let it go. i'm different than the other guys... [YAWNS]) and 2. empathize and honor my aspirations for a life-partnership (not a boyfriend, a piece of the month, or next-ex).... perhaps I'll play again. I started dating at 19, so nearing 20 years later, the questions are different. The questions you are asking at 30 or relevant and critical at this juncture in your life. Have fun... I suppose I was a great deal more romantic and hopeful at 30 and have experienced most of my extreme let-downs in my 30s. Time to sit with that for a minute and watch others play... but maybe figure out how to have fun in the meantime. Can't say i completely identify with "fun" in the game called life, but I hope to someday feel that way....again. I wrote a song called "30" on my first album that you should listen to.