Wednesday, June 10, 2015

The full comment for M3 Bear Essentials: Relationship Status Resposibility

View the video here

After looking at the video from the M3 website, I was a little concerned about the entire conversation. It appeared the commentary attempted to downplay relationships as just a minor, insignificant occurrence that just happens in peoples lives every now then - no big deal, mixed with the ever popular “you’re not missing out on anything”. I found it especially troubling that some of the comments appeared to automatically place men in a category who strive to have a lasting relationship as deficient in self-esteem or are emotionally lacking in some areas. As someone who has never been in a relationship, I happen to find that this is just another example of blaming the victim. Often times those who yearn for a relationship have done nothing wong to hinder their chances - many happen to be a victim of circumstance. Instead of focusing on the individual(s) who are not as lucky in finding love, I wish the conversation would have explored some reasons as to WHY the black gay community finds itself having high numbers of long-term singled men and tips on how to find someone for those who do in fact struggle. I find that these conversations tend to place the burden of responsibility (or blame) on those who are single long term, rather than encouraging characteristics that would ultimately help them find the love the wish to have. Its not always the fault of the individual for the reason(s) they are single. At some point, we as black gay men will need to discuss the root cause of this matter.